457_It has been established in the Ṣaḥīḥ that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, {…and Allah is in the assistance of the slave as long as the slave is in the assistance of his brother.}[1] [Muslim: 2699, Abū Dāwūd: 4646, at-Tirmidhī: 1425, as-Sunan al-Kubrā by an-Nasāʾī: 7244, Ibn Mājah: 225, the Musnad of Imam Aḥmad: 2:252.]
Know that offering condolences [at-taʿziyah] is recommended before the burial as well as afterwards. Our companions[2] have said that the time for at-taʿziyah is from when the person dies until three days after they have been buried, and three is understood to be approximate and not exact. This is what has been said by the Sheikh, the Imam, Abū Muḥammad al-Juwaynī, from amongst our companions.
Our companions have also said that at-taʿziyah is disliked after three days, because the objective of at-taʿziyah is to bring tranquillity to the heart of the one who is grieving. Normally, a person’s heart is calm and tranquil after three days, and thus one should not renew that person’s sorrow. This has been stated by vast majority of our companions.
Abū al-ʿAbbās ibn al-Qāṣ, one of our companions, has said, ‘There is nothing wrong with at-taʿziyah after three days. Rather, it remains perpetually, no matter how much times has elapsed.’ This has also been related by Imam al-Ḥaramayn from one of our companions. The chosen position is that it is not done after three days with the exception of two situations that our companions, or a group of them, have specified, and they are if either the one offering condolences or the one grieving is absent at the time of burial and they return after three days have elapsed.
Our companions have said that at-taʿziyah after the burial is better than before it, because the deceased’s family are busy with his tajhīz.[3] It is also because their sense of loneliness and separation will be greater after the person has been buried. This is the case if one does not see any intense sadness from them. If one does see such, one should not delay in offering condolences, so as to alleviate their sorrow, and Allah knows best.
[Translated from al-Adhkār min Kalām Sayyid al-Abrār (Jeddah: Dār-Minhāj, 1433/2012), p.259]
[1] (tn): This is part of the 36th ḥadīth of Imam an-Nawawī’s Forty, a translated commentary of which is forthcoming, if Allah so wills
[2] (tn): i.e. the Shāfiʿīs [3] (tn): i.e. preparing him for burial by washing (taghsīl) him and shrouding (takfīn) him
I grew up with this norm in my country, I always wondered about the ruling on this. JazakAllah khair.
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